Underground Entertainment

Today's Test Of My Fitness As A Parent And Human Being (or, The Odds Are Against Me)

Posted by Tom Chandler 7/7/2012

Today I face the sternest test any angler will ever face.

Is it Permit? Brookies? Roosters? Tarpon??

If you suggested one of the above, I can only laugh at you in a bitter, twisted fashion.

After all, fish can only humiliate and degrade you.

What I'm talking about is much, much worse -- where tiny, sticky fingers reach right down into the depths of your soul, plucking at the very foundation of your humanity (before leaving peanut butter and jelly smeared all over your sense of self-worth).

It's the free kid's fishing day at the local hatchery.

Where tiny children with clearly inadequate tackle are pitted against trout approximately 2.75 times their mass, with all the chaos that guarantees.

And this year, I'm not just in charge of my own squealing, whirling mass of unfocused energy. No. I'm responsible for two squealing, whirling masses.

In a decision made by other parents in my absence (the most disastrous kind), I'm also expected to provide "expertise" for another set of tiny, sticky fingers, as if decades spent on trout streams could possibly prepare a man for such a moment.

As if anything could.

Pray for me, Undergrounders. I rate my odds of survival (psychically speaking) at somewhere below 30%.

But I'm going in anyway.

See you at the hatchery, Tom Chandler.

AuthorPicture

Tom Chandler

As the author of the decade leading fly fishing blog Trout Underground, Tom believes that fishing is not about measuring the experience but instead of about having fun. As a staunch environmentalist, he brings to the Yobi Community thought leadership on environmental and access issues facing us today.

Yeah, I saw the result over on that other social network thingy... Looks like they had a successful trip, and fun. And who knows, maybe you did, as well...
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Having recently witnessed a similar event as only an observer, the venue and the origin of the fish quickly faded in the brilliance of the resulting smiles.
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"where tiny, sticky fingers reach right down into the depths of your soul, plucking at the very foundation of your humanity (before leaving peanut butter and jelly smeared all over your sense of self-worth)."Amazing what we do for those little sticky fingered "squealing, whirling mass of unfocused energy".Enjoy every moment, even the ones that make you cringe! Usually the cringing moments are the ... more ones that will be remembered & talked about for years!
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Have a flask handy...
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Be the ball, Tom.
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C'mon,TC, now you can teach the wee ones about bonking hatchery fish(but they will want to name them and take them home) rollcasting a Paine Quad(but they will want the Barbie and My Little Pony spin rods)and how a Macanudo and a glass of 15 year old single malt is a good end to a day of fishing(OK, they will need to be abit older for that). Have fun,don't tear yer hair out and don't make snarky comments ... more to the hatchery folks about zombie fish....
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