Backcountry,    Fly Fishing Small Streams,    Underground Entertainment,    zombeaver

The Latest Threat To Fly Fishing (We've Got the Gritty Documentary to Prove It)

Posted by Tom Chandler 2/10/2014

While Chi Wulff writes thoughtful, intelligent pieces about legal threats to fly fishing, we're willing to explore a darker, trendier threat to our beloved sport.

Zombie beavers.



Because the Underground's interested only in your safety, I'd suggest leaving all the small streams and backcountry stuff alone. Forever.

You never know where you'll find a zombeaver.

See you saving the lives of fly fishers everywhere, Tom Chandler.

AuthorPicture

Tom Chandler

As the author of the decade leading fly fishing blog Trout Underground, Tom believes that fishing is not about measuring the experience but instead of about having fun. As a staunch environmentalist, he brings to the Yobi Community thought leadership on environmental and access issues facing us today.

47 comments
Oh my god, yet another threat! It is about time we start calling fly fishing an extreme sport!
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I bet they would be able to look Ryan Secrest right in the eye.
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Matt Foley: That was absolutely horrible, other than the theft of the wonderful Louie CK line, “suck a bag of dicks”! What's horrible is how the Academy snubbed this game-changing movie. Who doesn't want to see a Zombeaver terrorizing all the suck-up reporters on the red carpet?
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That was absolutely horrible, other than the theft of the wonderful Louie CK line, "suck a bag of dicks"!
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I always knew something like this could happen....Beavers have been infected
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Lol, aren't the human zombies enough :D
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Dan Most officers and personnel in the Navy, Air Force, Army, Marines are getting kicked out for nasty behavior, We must look elsewher. Rogue Monks, Nuns or Hobbits. Maybe knarly trashmen with nothing to lose? Sure would like to see that movie to study gopher tactics. Punahele
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Dan Most officers and personnel in the Navy, Air Force, Marines are getting kicked out for nasty behaviour. We must look elsewhere. Rogue Monks, Nuns, or Hobbits. Maybe knarly trashmen with nothing to lose? Sure would like to see that movie to study gopher habits. Punahele
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Punahele: Hey I went to get Zbeaver ordered on Netflix and apparrently it doesnt exist.What the f?. The Beavers must have pulled it down. [snip] I think Tom nailed it. This goes way deeper than anyone imagined. Tom, who do we know in the Pentagon or at Langley. We've GOT to get to the bottom this.
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Hey I went to get Zbeaver ordered on Netflix and apparrently it doesnt exist.What the f?. The Beavers must have pulled it down. Im going hunting tonight, or maybe after a couple of beers more. Pray for me. Farewell
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chris: In honor of Trout Underground, I will tie up a new leech pattern to use this Sunday on the San Juan and name it the Underground Zombeaver. Hey, that's great. If the pattern is supposed to be truly representative of the Underground, it'll have to come unraveled on the second cast and release your fish just before you get them to the net. Acccuracy is everything.
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In honor of Trout Underground, I will tie up a new leech pattern to use this Sunday on the San Juan and name it the Underground Zombeaver.
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[…] HAHAHAHA - that is all. But seriously, HAHAHAHA […]
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chris: When I get back I will tell everyone the fishing sucked and the place was infested with zombies. If we keep it going we may have the place to ourselves by March. Once again, the Underground has a hand in solving the realproblems facing today's fly fisher.
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Dan: I didn’t even think of that angle. Time to spread the word: the San Juan is infested with zekes and is totally unfishable. Now, it occurred to me to disguise myself as a zombangler and start chasing the riff-raff off but I worry about getting myself shot in the head. That wouldn’t be good. Im heading down there on Sunday. If I see any zombies, I will ask if they are named Dan before I open fire. ... more When I get back I will tell everyone the fishing sucked and the place was infested with zombies. If we keep it going we may have the place to ourselves by March.
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I didn't even think of that angle. Time to spread the word: the San Juan is infested with zekes and is totally unfishable. Now, it occurred to me to disguise myself as a zombangler and start chasing the riff-raff off but I worry about getting myself shot in the head. That wouldn't be good.
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Good point. Keeping them at a safe distance is probably for the best. Plus, if I spend all that time wearing myself out bashing the zombeavers with the Slugger, my arm would get to tired to cast. On a side note, if we spread the word that the San Juan is infested with zombeavers and zomanglers, maybe the crowds will disappear and we could have the place to ourselves.
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Your opportunity radar is finely tuned. I'd hire out as a guide if any of those fussbudgets wanted to gather their own materials.
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Pretty sure if Rome had youtube just before the fall.... it would have looked just like this.... I'll start carrying my sword and .44 when fishing just in case though...... For me it would be scarier if the blonde brought her divorce attorney but maybe thats just me.......
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Yes,that's true...But the ACME (A Name You Can Trust) Mk.II Bio-Clean Warner Bros. Model is free of that problem...just don't feed it after midnite....Plus you can get the E.Fudd option,too....
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Great ideas but I won't have anything to do with a T-devil since I heard an episode of Quirks and Quarks that discussed their facial tumor disease. That they pass around by chewing on each others faces. Clearly, T-devils are already infected by the Z. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devil_facial_tumour_disease
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Hmmmm, I see Dan has been doing his homework (instead of fishing) viewing all of the relevant documentaries on the upcoming world threat. I'd recomend an ACME MK.II Warner Bros. Tasmanian Devil for area defense on the river. They will tangle in your backcast at times but a spot of Vegimite will calm them down. An alternate is always the 'G' Model Honey Badger ( not F,because Honey Badger don't give ... more a F...) portable,friendly (if feed enough small vermin) and obnoxious,it's the perfect zombeav assault weapon.
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Jim Ferguson: Epic Pictures appears to finally be addressing the fly fishing market with movies we can really get our teeth into. Right on the tail of “Zombeaver”, comes “Nymph”! Maybe they’ll follow it up with a remake of Robinson Crusoe, shipwrecked off Scotland, titled “Spey Castaway”? I'm looking forward to the gripping epic titled "Zombie Whitefish Ate My Guide."
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I'll concede the evident and spectacular wonder of the bikini.But you can't count on distance when the apocalypse strikes. I've seen countless documentaries on this subject and it's clear to me that anyone who focusses on a single tactic is doomed. While not all that intelligent -- although recent data revealed in the informational film "Warm Bodies" contradicts that assumption -- and usually quite ... more awkward -- also recently contradicted by evidence presented in "World War Z" -- the zombie appears to have the ability to surprise even the most intelligent and well prepared hunter. So, yeah, I guess I want a little of both. It's hard to find that in a single weapon system.
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Dan: Maybe carry the Slugger as backup but you need something that will take them out a little easier. Standoff capability is everything in the zombie apocalypse. As this trailer makes clear, you need to be able to stop the zombies (beavers, whatever) from as far away as possible. Also, bikinis will play a big role in the apocalypse. See, it's not all bad.
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Dan: Now, though, it is very clear to me that it was a zombeaver sitting on the corpse of the other angler. I was THAT close to dying. And now I can’t go back to that spot because there’s not only a zombeaver but also a zombangler lurking in the willows. There we go. Our first confirmed sighting. I get the feeling this thing's bigger than we thought. Much bigger.
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Maybe carry the Slugger as backup but you need something that will take them out a little easier. Zombie heads are tough and it takes more than one swat with a bat to put a fresh one down for good. You'll tire yourself out quickly and leave yourself open for an attack. A firearm is about the best way to go and it doesn't have to be a big caliber to shut 'em down. The guys using deer slugs in 10 gauges ... more are show-offs and. quite frankly, make me nervous. All that zombified spatter is dangerous. Time to break out the Model 1911. See you killing zombeavers on the river.
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I was on the San Juan a couple of weeks ago, and I think I saw that same beaver. Thankfully, he was on the opposite shore, and I was on my way to the truck. Maybe we need to come up with some zombeaver proof waders that will protect us from attack. I think I will trade in my wading staff for a Louisville Slugger in the 40 ounce range.
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"A River Runs Through It" for the low information voters ... ten more like it and we'll be a third world country.
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now Thomas thats really hitting below the belt........gotta go time for ''Beaver Patrol''.....
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Epic Pictures appears to finally be addressing the fly fishing market with movies we can really get our teeth into. Right on the tail of "Zombeaver", comes "Nymph"! Maybe they'll follow it up with a remake of Robinson Crusoe, shipwrecked off Scotland, titled "Spey Castaway"?
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Wow! I had a brush with death and didn't even realize it. I was fishing on the San Juan last weekend and a couple of hundred feet below me was another angler. As the day waned and dusk settled in I noticed that the angler was gone but something was sitting on a rock nearby. On the hike out I discovered it was a beaver. Now, though, it is very clear to me that it was a zombeaver sitting on the corpse ... more of the other angler. I was THAT close to dying. And now I can't go back to that spot because there's not only a zombeaver but also a zombangler lurking in the willows. Time to start dialing in the headshots and carrying heavier weapons on the water.
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Already I see an opportunity. Given the gullibility of fly tyers, I'm willing to bet dubbing retrieved from zombeavers would command a premium. "Bring your undead flies to life..."
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Couching Tiger: Boys…Don”t forget your ”Beaver Shot”…… I expose a threat to the underpinnings of our very civilization -- putting myself at no small amount of risk from the Illuminati engineering the whole thing -- and we get frat humor in response?
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JP2: QG is right…”..get back to the ship and nuke ‘em from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”….Tip of the tweed cap to Ripley…. Now who's channeling Singlebarbed?
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QG is right..."..get back to the ship and nuke 'em from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."....Tip of the tweed cap to Ripley....
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By the time they're in shotgun range it's too late. Even with each pelt holding enough fur for thousands of flies, the dangers shown in this instructional video may help explain the price of those tiny pouches of beaver dubbing. On the other hand, it's a lot easier than holding them down and shaving them.
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Boys...Don''t forget your ''Beaver Shot''......
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Congress hasn't gotten involved in six years. Maybe they need a little zombeaver? See ya at the Fish and game!
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Mark McGlothlin: I don’t know how much thoughtful, intelligent stuff we’ve been writing lately, but I’ll sure grab my 12 gauge and a couple of cases of shells and help you rid the neighborhood of this scourge. Keep us posted. Thanks. After Sharknado, I developed an aversion to coastal areas (after I saw Jaws, I couldn't bathe for weeks). Now I fear my mountains aren't safe either. We'll let you ... more know if armed resistance is needed.
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JP2: C’mon! Just because she’s blonde doesn’t mean…….OH! It’s a movie (????) Movie? I saw it as a pre-apocalyptic documentary. Harbinger of the end times if you will.
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flyfish ks: I think with a little common sense and resolve we can overcome this problem. Well, at least until congress gets involved.
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Couching Tiger: I’ll never look at another beaver the same way again ! .. I'm tempted to make a comment beginning with "At your age..." but because of our longstanding friendship, I will refrain.
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I don't know how much thoughtful, intelligent stuff we've been writing lately, but I'll sure grab my 12 gauge and a couple of cases of shells and help you rid the neighborhood of this scourge. Keep us posted.
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C'mon! Just because she's blonde doesn't mean.......OH! It's a movie (????) Whew! I was afraid Bikinl Hatches were going to be a thing of the past....like salmon...Guess I won't have to pack my shorty Model 12 after all.....
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I think with a little common sense and resolve we can overcome this problem. However I think we're in serious trouble if this starts to occur in other species like muskrats or God forbid....squirrels.
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I'll never look at another beaver the same way again ! ..
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